


Could It Be Enough?

by fandomfix



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Introspection, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pre-Slash, They're assholes but that's not news, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 20:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13151874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomfix/pseuds/fandomfix
Summary: Ren trusted him...It made something in his chest curl warmly, even as it made his stomach turn.Hux contemplates his relationship with Ren, and where to go from here.





	Could It Be Enough?

**Author's Note:**

> I was desperately struggling with a WIP and decided to write something small as a way to get my mind off it. An hour later I had this little thing. I don't know why I like being in their heads so much, and it really makes writing summaries difficult, but here we are. Back on my nonsense with some Hux introspection!

General Hux stood above the training room, watching the action below him.

He felt bile rise in his throat as he adjusted the collar of his uniform. No matter what he did, he couldn’t manage to pull himself away. The man before him held too much of his attention.

Kylo Ren— _no, Supreme Leader now—_ was training alone. He looked angry and glorious. At least something hadn’t changed with the upheaval of their infrastructure.

Hux took in the way Ren gracefully moved through the droids and practice dummies assembled around him. It was hard to believe that someone who moved so fluidly in a battle could be so hotheaded when commanding. Hard to believe and disconcerting.

_“That’s why I keep you around, General.”_

Hux shook his head, once again thinking about the conversation from a few weeks ago.

_In the aftermath of the failure on Crait, Hux was in his quarters._

_He was gingerly applying bacta to the bruises from his impact with a wall, when he heard the chime indicating someone wanted entrance. He chose to ignore it. There was only one person left who would bother disturbing him, and he wouldn’t wait for an answer. Hux wasn’t even surprised when the new Supreme Leader entered a moment later._

_After the usual round of bickering, Hux realized Ren’s eyes were trained on his bruises. There was a peculiar intensity to him that Hux refused to place._

_“This isn’t the worst injury I’ve ever gotten. It won’t hinder my ability to carry out your orders, I assure you.”_

_Ren stared at him for a moment, shaking his head and erasing any of the emotion Hux had seen behind his eyes._

_“Good,” he said. Hux ignored the way his heart stuttered at the sound of Ren’s voice. “You’re much better at delivering orders. That’s why I keep you around, General.”_

Hux refocused on the present, trying to ignore the conflict of his own mind.

He didn’t like the idea of Kylo Ren as Supreme Leader. Snoke hadn’t been the best, too focused on his own agenda, not concerned enough about the First Order. But he’d also given Hux free rein to do what he deemed best when it came to the leading of the Order. And if Kylo’s first day as leader had been anything to go by, he wasn’t going to allow that.

But then he’d come to see Hux afterward. Hux still wasn’t sure why he’d come, as he left rather quickly after delivering his statement of faith in Hux. If he didn’t know the man so well, he’d have thought Ren was… _concerned_ for him.

And that was it, wasn’t it? That was what caused the struggle within Hux’s mind as he watched the man train, his lightsaber a blur of red swirling around him. He didn’t trust Ren as Supreme Leader. But he _did_ trust him as Kylo Ren. He did trust the man’s fighting abilities. He did trust the man’s humanity, even if it was sometimes found wanting.

And Ren trusted him. Ren, who he _knew_ had told Snoke he wasn’t worth the trouble. Ren, who Hux still suspected had more to do with the Supreme Leader’s death than he was letting on.

Ren trusted him. Trusted his ability to keep the First Order up and running. Trusted that they wanted the same things.

It made something in his chest curl warmly, even as it made his stomach turn.

Hux knew who he was. Hux knew what he’d been struggling with for the past several years. He knew that one day Ren would discover the unwelcome affection Hux felt for him and use it against him.

Except that he hadn’t. He’d never found out or somehow had the intelligence not to bring it up. He’d never tried to manipulate Hux using it.

And Hux tried to fight it. Tried to ignore the way he couldn’t always stop a smile from forming on his lips in Ren’s presence. Tried to stop the softening of his voice when he spoke to Ren. Yet it had never succeeded.

“Do you come up here often to stare at nothing, General?”

Hux blessed every deity that he had trained himself out of his habit of jumping at every noise. He had become lost in thought again and sure enough, there was no one in the training room below anymore. He turned, keeping his posture perfect as he faced Ren.

“Supreme Leader.” He said, his voice steady. He didn’t focus on the slight heaving of Ren’s chest from his exercise. He didn’t trace the patterns of moles on Ren’s face with a practiced haste.

Ren stared at him a moment, like he had that day several weeks ago. But Hux knew he couldn’t be looking for injury. They’d had no physical contact—and little verbal, for that matter—since the failure on Crait.

They were well on their way to having their stores of munitions back. They no longer had Skywalker to worry about. Nothing to cause a rift between them for the moment.

Ren moved forward and Hux held his ground. There was nothing angry in Ren’s stance (and with so little conversation between them lately Hux knew he couldn’t have done anything to upset the man).

His heart stuttered. His stomach turned. His mind became increasingly aware of the closeness of their bodies.

“What are you doing up here, Hux?”

Ren’s voice was softer now that they were closer. He was standing near enough for Hux to imagine the warmth of his breath. Hair was falling in his face and Hux wanted to reach up and brush it away. He furiously clenched his fingers into a fist.

Ren was studying his face, his eyes moving rapidly. Hux had watched this happen multiple times over the years.

“I was looking for you,” Hux replied, unable to keep from answering the question. Even though he wasn’t looking forward to what would come next.

“Why?”

He couldn’t remember, and that was the problem. He’d come up here when he heard that Ren was here. He’d known the man would see him in the viewing area and his curiosity would lead him up. But then Hux got distracted watching him. Started thinking about his own affections and how hindersome they were. He’d completely forgotten what led him here.

Fortunately, Hux had years of experience bluffing.

“It’s no longer important, Supreme Leader. I’m sorry to have disturbed you.”

They were still so close. Hux could see Ren’s chest moving still, although it had slowed a great deal. He could see Ren clenching and unclenching his fingers. He could feel that dark gaze holding him in place like the Force never had.

Ren opened his mouth, hesitating before closing it once again.

He took a small step back, still within touching range.

‘ _Not that that mattered because I’m not going to touch him.’_

“In that case, I’ll leave you to your blank staring. We do need to discuss your promotion at some point though. Remind me later.”

The world froze. Kylo was turning to leave and return to his quarters probably. And the gears of Hux’s brain weren’t engaging. Now was _not_ the time.

“Wait, wh—I’m sorry, what?”

Ren stopped to look at him, just inside the doorway, his eyes locked with Hux’s.

“You do all the actual leading of the Order. You have a direct link to me, the Supreme Leader. You need some sort of recognition for that. We’ll talk about it later.”

Once again, he turned as if to leave. Hux was glued to his spot, unsure what to say. His brain was trying to catch up still. It seemed to have stopped at the thought of Ren giving him _exactly what he’d wanted from Snoke for years._

It could be a trap. It could be a ploy. It shouldn’t make his stupid heart start beating rapidly again. It shouldn’t make the affection grow even more, like a parasite that was never going to be removed.

“And General?”

Ren had his back to him, but his head twisted to the side, his eye hidden behind the curtain of his hair. Once again Hux felt the desire to _touch._

“Yes, Supreme Leader?”

“You aren’t a disruption. That’s impossible.”

With those parting words, Ren beat a hasty retreat from the room, leaving Hux staring at nothing _again._

Hux didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do and was grateful he was still alone in the room.

He unclenched his fist, replaying Ren’s words in his head. A small smile formed on his lips that he couldn’t control.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://fandomfix8.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/fandomfix8)


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